Stuck on CHU!
by Lumi75
Summary: Zeno & Netero Crack!
1. st smooch

*

_Zeno & Netero_

***** Stuck on ***_**CHU!* **_

*

A/N: The Zaoldyeck Family consists of Maha, Zeno, Silva, Kikyou, Illumi, Milluki, Killua, Alluka and Kalluto, in descending senority. I took the liberty of suggesting that Zeno's not actually Maha's son but his nephew. He was only adopted after he lost his family and home to the great depression.

***

_Flashback_

"You're so broke, you should go KFC and lick other people's fingers. Wahahaha!"

The neighborhood bullies finally get tired of teasing a small child dressed in rags, kneeling beside freshly dug grave. The bodies of 20 paupers lie underground, and one of them was his mother. The boy wipes away his tears. Everything that he has ever loved has disappeared from him. Parents, friends, home. Only a piece of land isn't likely to die on him and leave.

"I'm going to make so much money I'll buy a whole damned mountain…_and live in it._"

***

Today, Zeno Zaoldyeck is celebrating his 88th birthday inside his ostentatious ballroom carved out of the very rock of Kukuru Mountain. The lights are dimmed and his big family crowd around him, bearing a magnificent octagonal cake dusted with a triple layer of edible gold. The 88 gold candles burn brightly and Zeno has to strain to blow them out in one breath. "Fuuuuuuu fuuuuu fuu fuuu!!" Everyone claps and Zeno waves the cake away with a grand gesture. "Put it on the table and divide it out!" He turns to the window and his servants rush up to pull away the curtains, revealing a magnificent orange sunset. Forest stretches for miles around and literally, as far as the eye can see, everything belongs to him. He smiles indulgently. He deserves to be satisfied with his achievements, doesn't he? His wealth. His skills. His wonderful son, Silva, his five adorable grandchildren. Even his stepfather Maha is in excellent health, despite being a little dried up.

He twists his moustache egotistically and throws both hands in the air.

"Mwahahaha!!"

His gloating is suddenly cut short by a flying kick to his face, nearly blacking him out. He lands on the floor, legs spread out in front of him. "Oi!!" he yells. It's his forty year old son, Silva. "Oops, I missed, sorry Dad!" Silva shouts, but he doesn't sound the least bit remorseful. He just keeps running after his youngest son, Kalluto.

"Kalluto, get the hell outta those girly clothes! Have some respect for your grandfather, it's his birthday! Kallutoooooo!!"

Zeno rubs his cheek, frowning, and is about to get up when a stiletto heel stabs into the floor in front of him, dangerously close to his eye. Blue sparks fly. It's his daughter-in-law, Kikyou, screaming, "Leave my son alone! Don't you force him to wear those ugly gym clothes you wear all the time."

Silva stops chasing after Kalluto and turns on her, making her back up, she steps over Zeno's head and her stiletto heels tap-dance wildly across the ground where Zeno is at, trapping the old man and making him twist uncomfortably to avoid getting skewered at his vital points. Stab, stab, stab! She rudely steps over Zeno's body, then on second thought, pushes him into sitting position and hides behind him like a shield.

"What's wrong with you, Kikyou?!" Silva roars at full blast, ignoring his father. Zeno's hair stand on end and he claps a hand over his nose.

"This isn't funny you know!"

"Damn right it's not!" Zeno squeaks.

Silva ignores him, "Stop dressing him up like a girl…"

"Damn right you don't!"

"Do you want him to turn out like Illumi?!"

"Damn righ- Illumi?!"

"Illumi?!" Kikyou suddenly screeches, and stamps her deadly footwear in a rage. Even with his super-fast ninja techniques it was a close shave for Zeno. "Illumi is a good boy! He is very handsome and refined. Not a BRUTE like you!"

"Oh yeah, if you hate me so much why did you marry me?"

"I should have dated Ging Freecs! He liked me!"

"Whatever! I know how you looked before you had all that plastic surgery!"

Oh god, his progeny were at it again. When would they ever stop? How did it all turn out so wrong? He crawls away from the struggling couple, gets up and links his hands behind his back, observing them sarcastically. He walks away, a little stooped from his age. Suddenly, a sentence from behind freezes him in his steps.

"I wish I never met you, you ugly…_**scrooge!**_"

Scrooge?! Zeno's face goes slack, some memories remain better forgotten…

***

_80 Years Ago_

"Zeno, you scrooge!"

His cousins flop onto the grass in front of him, exhausted from all the work they had to do for him. "Don't you ever get tired of grinding us down for every penny?"

Zeno spares them a glance as he counts and pockets the payment they had given him. "You're doing fine… keep up the good work. If you want to get to the top of the mountain, just keep going, and then walk some more."

"Fuck man, if we keep working so hard, we'll drop dead before we can enjoy any of our wealth."

Zeno smirks. His cousins were all older than him but they had no concept of the power money had on them. Which was probably why they made him take care of it. "Shaddup. Even if you die, you still need money - even in hell."

Zeno Zaoldyeck, eight years old, is a short wiry boy with a mop of unruly silver hair and sharp, cat-like features. The latest addition to Maha's family who surely wasted no time becoming the leader of the pack of children due to his unusually focused attitude to life. He is taciturn, tightfisted and undeniably…

**_A scrooge._**

"That's him," Maha says to a scruffy-looking fighter standing beside him. The middle aged stranger is tall and well-built, but not handsome due to his horse-like face and big nose. He wears a good-natured expression on his face at all times, which makes him appear somewhat goofy. Many have been tricked.

Zeno dresses in extremely cheap gear compared to what the other kids are wearing. "Is he your son, too?" Netero asks in astonishment.

"Yes. He is my son."

"But your family is the richest one I know!"

Maha shrugs. "He's a little…_different_ from the rest."

"I can see that. Is he autistic?"

"Huh?"

"He keeps counting his coins over and over."

"Ha!" Maha grins ruefully. "Well….HEH!" He laughs again despite the situation not being amusing at all. "Hehe…he might as well be. All day long he counts his coins, he has no interest in anything else. He's actually adopted, my sister went through hard times during the Great Depression. I could have helped her, but she said she'd rather die than associate with an assassin. So now she's dead and Zeno's here. I can imagine he's suffered a lot. He's probably still scared he'll go back to being poor again."

"Hey." Netero strolls over to the little boy counting coins on the grass, smiling a generous smile. "Do you like coins?"

Zeno glances up at him and simply nodded.

"Would you like to see my special collection?"

An unmistakable light sparks in Zeno's calculating eyes; he's interested.

Netero grabs a fistful of coins from his pocket and scatters them on the ground in front of Zeno. There is a shimmering, metallic sound.

"Zennies!" Zeno whoots.

The coins come in all sizes, from bronze pennies, gold ryo dollars, to silver discs with square holes. Some of them are not even metal. There are rubies the size of beads, and diamonds, and shells with pattern of smoke, and seeds of pearly color. What are they? Are they all Zennies? How can there be so many kinds of Zennies? Zeno picks one up, a bland looking silver coin, and studies it intently. It has a flower imprinted on one side and a jeweled tray on the other. Within the tray are contained small vials, leaves and nuts, the product of the forests. A rusty smell rises distinctly from the pile – like blood.

"Is this a Zenny?"

Netero shakes his head.

"Che! If they are not zennies, then why do I bother?" Zeno mutters but there is clearly a deep hesitation in his voice. It's still money, though… "How many zennies are these worth?"

"Nothing!" Netero scoffs. "This is money from the many countries I have visited on my travels. They are valuable. Worth millions in their land. But not when I come into Padokia. Then they turn into baubles."

Zeno gasps. "But that's not fair! They're so beautiful. Are you sure they are really worthless?"

"Are you excited to know they came from different countries? They use a different system there, you know? And different languages. Would you want to know someone from a different culture?"

Zeno pauses for a short while before answering. True, he was curious about where the coins came from, but he really didn't gave a flippin fiddoo about the other people. He shrugs. "A little." But the budding xenophobe had a much more burning question in mind.

"So which one is the most valuable of all?"

"This one." Netero holds up a little red plastic disc impressed with some foreign words on one side, while the other was rimmed by 4 repeating symbols, spades, diamonds, clubs and hearts, eight of them in total. Zeno takes it from him, and at first touch he realized he hated it, he didn't even want to touch it, it felt so light and fake. Plastic…what a flimsy and ugly material. He actually felt a physical twinge of pain at its cheapness.

"This one?! Teme, don't make fun of me!" The little boy tosses the chip on the grass and scowls with an old man's expression, looking strangely tragic.

Netero grins. There is something dark in his smile and Zeno's eyes widen in fear. Has he seen the crack in his soul?

"Sorry. But I am going to exchange this chip for all the money you have."

"For a-all my money?!"

"All your money."

"What? Everything in my life, traded for this ugly plastic? Is this all that I'm worth?"

"No. That would depend on you. Actually, it depends on time. Everything depends on time."

"No! I won't let you. Why are you doing this?"

"Your father hired me to teach you a lesson and it will cost you all your money." So saying, Netero pushes Zeno onto the grass, feels all over his body for his wallet, takes it and puts it into his pocket.

"No! Give it back!" Zeno's stretches out his hands, his face has turned pale, his body hurts and he looks like he is about to cry.

"You think this whole thing is up to you?" Suddenly Netero makes a gesture and Zeno's throat becomes constricted. He can't breath, he begins to squirm and choke. "Nnnngh, nuughhh!"

Netero lowers his voice and whispers into Zeno's ear. "Let's play a game of basketball. If you can take the ball from my hands, then I'll let you keep your money. If you can't, then you must exchange all your money for this plastic coin." Netero holds up the red chip in front of Zeno's bulging eyes. Zeno has collapsed onto the grass but his eyes glare up with suicidal determination.

Netero smiles coldly. "Sorry, don't hate me."

Zeno didn't hate Netero in the end.

Quite the opposite.

***

All this flashes through Zeno's mind in a second. He turns around and observes his son fighting with his wife, he sees Kalluto cowering behind a pillar with dragon carvings, hiding from the robotic vehicles sent by Milluki to harass him, and servants who pretend to see nothing of the circus happening around them. How did it turn out this way despite living his life the best he could? What went wrong? More importantly…who's to blame?

Netero, the twisted old bastard!

"Ooof!" An orange kimono hurtles into his spleen with such force it lands them into his birthday cake, skids them across the floor and flattens them against the wall of the corridor. "OMIGOSH GRANDPA!!" Kalluto screams and rushes up to help him sit up. Zeno is grateful. Kalluto is a good boy, he thinks, he's really doesn't deserve being smothered by his mom.

"Tell me Kalluto, why do you let yourself be dressed up like a girl? You don't have to listen to your mom all the time, you know?"

Kalluto's amethyst eyes quiver, then he quickly bows his head, hands on knees, fists on thighs, eyes in shadow. "B-but...Grandpa...I-I..I don't like to wear boy's clothing."

"R-really? But why?"

"Cuz..." Kalluto's eyes slide over to Milluki, who is greedily stuffing his mouth with the broken remnants of Zeno's cake. He averts his eyes, shivering. Silva looks over at his fat grandson, not seeing the connection.

"Why, Kalluto? You can tell Grandpa."

Kalluto shivers. "Cuz it makes me look..."

"Look? Look what?" Zeno observed Milluki's form-fitting white shirt, the buttons were stretched so tight they look about to pop.

"Look f-f-f..."

"Ffft? fffuufufuf?" Could he be referring to the flabs that filled up Milluki's black pants until they overflowed at the waistline?

"It makes me look...faafafa.."

"... does this make my butt look fat?" Asks Illumi from the end of the corridor, twirling around. He is wearing a loose fitting silk blouse, a bohemian scarf around his waist and torn-up skinny...shorts. They both look up at his odd question, he is standing at the other end of his corridor so they can't see who he is talking to. Neither do they hear a reply, only see a hand sneak up and grab Illumi's butt before he disappears into the corner followed by loud smooching sounds. "CHU! CHU! MMMM...BABY…"

Zeno is outraged!!

He stands up and wipes the cake from his face. He clenches his fists. "Who the hell is there?!" he shouts.

Illumi quickly emerges from the corner, wiping his face and fixing his hair. "Ahem...I brought a tomodachi."

"SPEAK ENGLISH! WHAT THE HELL IS A TOMODACHI."

"Excuse me, I meant NAKAMA."

"Na-ka-ma?!" Zeno demanded.

"Um...." Illumi hesitates when he spots his mom and dad in the ballroom, Kikyou is sitting on top of Silva strangling him. "Umm....mom? Can my friend stay over for dinner?"

Awkward silence everywhere.

"..."

"..." Silva's eyes glare.

"..." Silva walks towards his eldest son threateningly.

Illumi gulps.

"I recall," Silva says in his deep baritone. "I've forbidden you to make friends?"

Suddenly there is a bleeping sound.

Milluki blurts out his cake and fumbles for his cell, eyes bugging. "It's for you, Grandpa. You've got an e-greeting."

"I don't know how to check my email -- just put it on speaker phone"

"Er..."

"Just DO IT!" Zeno growls.

There is a wierd anime sound like a chorus of chibified cherubs.

"Happy Birthday to you, you were born in the zoo,

You look like a monkey, and smell like one too.

Happy Birthday to you, you're a hundred and two,

Surely you can't forget, what we did in the loo?.... _CHU!!!_

_CHU CHU!!!_

Hello Zeno, surely you couldn't have forgotten your old friend..."

_NETERRRROOOOO!!! A young Zeno screams while Netero leapfrogs over his head to score a slamdunk. Yee-ha!_

Zeno flinches at the flashback.

He grabs the phone from Milluki's hands and yells rudely. "Damn you Netero! How dare you spoil my happy day. I told you already, it's over between us! Nothing even happened! Nothing! The game is over. O.V.R. over!!!"

Milluki twitches an eyebrow and tilts his head. Kalluto gasps, covering his lips with both hands. There is soft and creepy laughter seeping out from the phone, or maybe it is from someone hiding in the corridor. Illumi has no expression.

"O. V. R? …

…heheheh….Its not over, my dear Zeno-chan. Or do you think you can end this anytime you like?"

"W-What do you mean?!"

"I still have your basketball. Now come and get it."

"… if you called just to talk about that, then you may hang up now."

"I need your help, Zeno. I need your Dragon Drive to help us beat the Chimera Ants."

"Hmph."

"I'll pay you whatever you want."

"Hmph."

"And I still have your basketball."

"…."

"You've never won before."

Zeno pauses for a long time before answering.

"And what if I win?"

The reply was very soft so no one could hear the answer and perhaps it was better they did not.

_To be continued…_

_***  
_

_Part 2 - who will win and WHAT exactly is the relationship between these 2 twisted old men? _

_Reviews are welcome! ^^ _


	2. nd smooch

*

_Zeno & Netero_

***** Stuck on ***_**CHU!* **_

_Chuuu No. 2__**  
**_

*

A/N: Netero's most powerful ability is called "Hyakushiki Kannon" or 100 styles of Kannon. Zeno attacks with an electrical "Dragon Head", sometimes fansubbed as "Caricature of a Dragon Head" or "Sketch of a Dragon Head." He can also release many small dragon heads at the same time thus forming the "Dragon Drive".

This whole chp is a flashback from Zeno's POV.

***

_Flashback 60 years ago._

_Zeno is 28. Netero is probably in his eighties but looks forty._

_*  
_

Being an assassin is lonely business. Especially when you have to work nights, sometimes I go days without speaking to anyone. This makes a man more spiritual, you know. You start to appreciate the higher things in life. Like love, friendship, family. And most importantly…

_Zennies._

"Bartender – one Jack please."

As I waited for my drink, a horse-faced man in his forties approached me. Now if that wasn't an old associate of our family, Uncle Netero. He smiled generously.

"Bartender – I'll have whatever this young gentleman is having. And another one for him."

"Are you sure?"

"Why not?"

The bartender smirked, slamming a 750ml bottle of whiskey on the counter. "Here's why not." He said. Then added, turning to me, "Enjoy."

"You're drinking the whole-?!"

"Would you like some ice to go with that?" The bartender politely leaned forward and blocked off Netero's face.

I laughed. "Why waste a perfectly clean cup?"

"Thank you for saving water, sir."

I grabbed the bottle and took a good long swig. Ah! How refreshing. Normally, I could care less about staring eyes, but Netero's was bothering me. "Hey hey!" I nudged him.

"Uh, I think I'd just have a banana daiquiri, thank you."

"Very well, sir."

"Ugh," What a disgusting drink only a fruitcake would order. "I hate fruits."

"Oh? How come you sound so… sour grape?"

"Tch." Was all I said.

*

He observed me. "You look pale. Don't drink so much, it'll make you impotent."

"Alcohol has no effect on me – except to make me happy."

"Huh? What's the matter? "He looked around. "What happened to your friends?

I considered for a moment, examining the bottle in my hands. Well, I've got my best friend Jack Daniels here, but I didn't want Netero to think I was alcoholic.

"Don't insult me, assassins have no friends."

"Eh? I haven't seen you for five years but somehow you look different. Eh? What is it? Your face is as scrooge-like as ever, your dress sense is just as bad, probably the only thing that's improved is your body. " I frowned and narrowed my eyes, but Netero only ignored me, scratching the stubble on his chin. "I know. I've never seen you alone before."

I clenched my jaws, my fists.

"That's right, you're always hanging out with those brothers of yours. The noisiest, most hyper group of assassins I have ever seen." He laughed loudly. "Aaaa-ah…I remember now, its Illy, Killy, Milly, Ally, Kelly and you, Zeno. The odd one out, hahaha!"

"Thanks for asking about my cousins, but they're all gone now. Dead."

"What?! All of them?" Netero looked shocked. "When did that happen?"

"Two years ago."

"I'm sorry. Who did it?"

"I got my revenge, that's all you need to know. Anyhow, Dad and I are the only ones left now. Dad keeps bugging me to get married and make new Zaoldyecks for him, but I hate it. I'm a killer, not a recycler."

*

"Your father makes sense, Zeno. Don't you want to find a nice girl and settle down?"

"No thanks, I hate women."

"Oh really." Netero's eyes gleamed. "Then it doesn't have to be a woman."

I stared straight into his eyes. "I hate _humans._"

"Then it doesn't have to be a human."

"Heh!"

"You don't even have to pay him or her," he added.

"Really?" Now that caught my attention. "I ought to get one of those."

"It's called a tomodachi."

"Tomo-what? Is that something you get from overseas?"

He dug around in his pockets and took out a round eggshell-like object that could probably hold 350ml of Jack. I took another gulp of my fuel.

"From Japan. A Tamagochi. Used to be a fad."

"Food ?" I asked, reaching for it.

"No No!!! Please, be careful! Its Alive! It's a precious 8 year old tamagochi, extremely rare. I found it on one of my trips. The guy told me it'll hatch any day now. I was going to raise it myself but since I travel so much, I'm not going to have any time to take care of it. But since you always stay in the same place, I figured it might be better if you raised it. Here." He placed the egg in my palms. "I'm giving it to you if you promise to take good care of it."

The egg wasn't very large, but it was as heavy, like solid rock. It was yellow, the color of sulphur and with the same smell. As I held it silently, I felt a pulse vibrate from within, _da-dum, da-dum…_ Eh? Could that be a little heartbeat coming from within? Kawaii ne, I thought, poring over the egg. It's so odd. _"It's so…warm."_

I glanced up at Netero, who was beaming over the egg like a proud mother hen. I smiled at the look on his face. The room always feels brighter when he's around. Like ten thousand colorful flares.

"Did you say hatch? So what's it going to hatch into?"

"A baby Zaoldyeck."

"…"

"A baby Dragon." Netero corrected, smiling more enthusiastically than ever. "A real one, like Jurassic Park! You can sit on it and fly all over the world, faster than a blimp." He flapped his palms behind his neck like wings and started bouncing on his bar stool. "Hey look everybody~~ I'm from Padokia~~ I got the Padokia flag on my back~~Whee!"

The goofy look on his face made me unable to murder him.

*

"I owe you one, then. Tell me...what would you like in return?" I demanded in a rough tone.

"Huh?" Netero shrugged, turning his attention to his sissy drink and twirled the minature umbrella stuck on it. "It's free."

"No such thing as a free lunch. _I insist on payment."_

Netero slid his eyes over to me and chuckled. "Hmmm?" He met my eyes and traveled down my body. I flinched without knowing why. "Hey!" I complained. "What was that about?"

He shrugged. "Nothing – your smile is all the payment I need."

My face turned red, then purple and I lowered my head so only shadows covered my eyes. "Shuddup!" I cursed. My fingers which were still gripping the egg started to curl.

"_iTAI Tai Tai Tai!!!!"_ Netero screamed, "Careful, it's fragile!" He rushed to cup his hands around the egg –-– around _MY_ hands.

"_iTAI Tai Tai Tai!!!"_ My senses shot through the roof and my hands jolted as if by electric shock; the egg jumped dangerously in my palms.

"Slow down, Tiger!" Netero tightened his firm grip around my palms. "Your hands are shaking."

"Kyaaaah…" Cold sweat broke over my forehead. "Gyaaah…"

"Chill, man, chill... You're so hyper..."

"Ahahaha…" I stuttered in embarrassment.

"Excited at your present are you?"

"Yeah…." I nodded weakly and quickly brought the egg to the bar counter and rested it there. But Netero continued to cup his big hands around mine until the egg stopped wobbling. I didn't know if it was the heartbeat in the egg I was feeling or the blood pounding in my ears. It felt like a hundred years.

I angrily wiped my forehead and gulped half my Jack in one shot. Then rudely slammed the bottle on the counter. "Just a fucking smile huh?" I growled gruffly. "Then I'll pay you back with another one."

"Why do you sound like you want to kill me?"

"In that case you will die laughing."

"Heh"

"Meet me tonight."

"Why?" Was Netero's look was a little intense or was it just me?

"I have something to show you."

"Why not now?"

"We have to wait until it gets dark to see it…"

***

I am developing a nen ability which will only be complete when there are ten thousand flares. When I first started, I could only do one. Then one year later, twenty. After five years, I exerted my Dragon Drive and got a hundred.

I went out and fired my nen into the sky. I reckon I had enough nen for three hundred and fifty-two flares tonight. Not too shabby even though I've been training for ten years. Was that enough to get the special effect I wanted?

_I want to use the flares to paint his name across the sky. And I want to see the look on his face when he sees it. _

***

I got the idea for Dragon Drive twenty years ago, during my losing game with Netero. I rushed at him with kicks and punches, trying to grab the basketball from his hands, but he easily dodged everything with amazing speed. I decided to strike him hard enough to break his bones, since my wallet was worth a lot more than his medical bills. I aimed a vicious kick at his leg and it was like steel. I dropped to the ground, writhing in silence and grabbing my shin in pain. Snarling, I leaped into the treetops and disappeared into the shadows, hoping to surprise him from behind…

When your aura gets so high, you feel only one thing: _High._ All fighters know it. All fighters love it. I smiled, Netero smiled; one of us couldn't understand why, but both of us were happy.

I remember seeing Dragon Drive appear before my eyes. There was pulsing in my chest, flowing onwards, and I saw a flare in the sky, many flares. Flowing from my opponent's body was a beautiful strength. Calm, serene, arrogant. Yes, his body smelled like an old man, sour, like clothes that didn't dry properly, but it was also as stable as a mountain. It was completely unmovable whenever I hit it. I've always been plagued by nervousness since my mother died, I've never been able to get rid of that fear and anxiety, until that moment. I completely forgot about my wallet. I didn't care any more. I had only one thought:

_**Who are you?**_

Again and again, I asked. Who are you? Who are you? I don't know who you are, but I like you, I want to be like you!

I lost; I didn't regret it. I had that feeling, like the game's not over yet. And I'm going to get what I want, even if it takes me eighty years -- if I can survive that long that is.

_I'll keep training. And I want you to see it. I want to see your face when I take that ball away from you. _

Many kids say that, Netero replied, nonchalantly spinning the ball with his index finger. I wanted to scream, look at me, I'm not like the other kids, I'm going to keep chasing after you until I catch up.

"Ja ne, I'll be on my way now, Zeno."

"Wait! Where are you going?" I didn't know what to do, so I just hugged his leg and dragged on it. I was so small, his legs resembled tree-trunks to me.

"On a journey to my Higher Self." He snickered like a twisted Sister.

"Is that your home?"

"I'm gon' send him to outer space, to find another race~~" Netero hummed, ignoring me and putting the basketball into a net, which he then slung over his shoulders. "I'll take my brain to another dimension~~"

"Where do you live? I'll come visit you." I insisted, I couldn't believe how loudly my voice rose, as if I was desperate I might lose something a lot more important to me than my wallet.

Netero looked pleasantly surprised and gave me his full attention for a moment. But he looked away and just laughed. "I hope we meet again."

"Can I come with you?" I whined.

Netero planted his palms on his waist and looked into the sky. It was very blue and the sunlight was gorgeous, but his face looked sad. "As long as time flows forward, everything will bloom and fade, like a flower, like dawn and dusk. We live in an eternal cycle where nothing is stable, nothing will last long. To think of holding on to anyone, or anything, is a complete joke. Tragic, really. So that is why, I am determined to go to that place, where there is no time…," he raised his right arm above his head then slowly curled each finger into a fist. "I will reach for…_Nirvana_."

Huh? I looked up at where his hand was pointing. Trees. "Reach for a _banana?"_

"Ah?!" Netero laughed. "You're right, they're the same; Both can get me high. Although best of all are zennies. Hehe, I've been working hard, stealing zennies from babies, nyehehe." So muttering, he easily slipped out of my grasp and walked away. I stared at his retreating back, shivering from my kneeling position on the ground. I saw him pull out my wallet and started digging around in it, humming like the senile ojiji he was. "Wow, 1000 zennies, you're rich for a little boy…and by the way…this is yours." He flicked the red chip over his shoulder.

I didn't want to pick it up, what's the point? I just knelt there, staring at it for a long time. Finally, I heard Maha calling us for dinner so I ran home and left the worthless object to soak in the dew. But I kept thinking about it the whole night and in the end I went back. I've kept it ever since. Five years ago, I got the foreign words translated. It read:

_$1 Dollar. Toy Town. Kong Hong_

Kong Hong

Kong – xx – Hong.

_Kong…._

Oh? Kong has a nice ring to it. I think I've just found the perfect name for my baby dragon.

***

We met at a snow covered park later that night. It was extremely cold, and the sky was so clear and black even the dimmest constellation shone in stark brilliance.

I totally forgot to tell him to come alone. I totally forgot he means a lot more to me than me to him. I totally forgot.

"Hi Zeno, meet Morau, and this is Novu. They are my colleagues at the Hunter Association."

Netero was in high spirits and smiling broadly, like he was tipsy. "And this young lady is…"

I don't remember the name, only a sickening feeling when he bent over and kissed her full on the lips. "Netero, stop it! I said not in public," she protested. "Don't mind him, he's the most stoic person I know, and I've known him since he was eight. Trust me, he doesn't give a shit."

But I _do_ give a shit. "Tell your friends to leave, Netero. This will only take a moment." I said angrily. No way in hell I was going to show him Dragon Drive now, its way too large scale, then everyone will know what my hatsu is.

I stomped deeper into the park. Behind me, Netero spoke to his associates and I heard the crunching footsteps fade away. Suddenly an arm swung around my shoulders, squeezing. It reassured me somehow that Netero still regarded me fondly, despite the fact I hated his guts at the moment.

"What have you got?"

"What?"

"What? I thought you wanted to show me something?"

"I wanted to show you Dragon Drive." I admitted, "but I can't anymore, or your friends will all see it."

"Aww…you were?" Netero paused in his steps and looked at my face. "You must really trust me. Why?"

"Trust has nothing to do with it. Have you forgotten what I told you the first time we met?"

"How could I, when you always bring it up whenever we meet. Heh. I knew you were autistic."

"Am I autistic?" Sometimes I wonder…

"Since you never get tired of doing the same thing over and over again. But I'm the same, I never tire of my search for immortality." Netero suddenly squealed like a sissy and grabbed the lapels of my jacket, saying breathlessly, "By the way by the way! " He hopped excitedly up and down. "I've got something to show you too!"

"Oh yeah? They why did you bring your friends? Now we have to wait for them to leave."

"Don't worry, they are miles away by now, we're totally alone! I just wanted my friends to meet you."

I hesitated for a moment, then asked in a softer voice. "Why?"

"Novu can make wormholes, that's why."

"That's not what I meant-"

I was interrupted by another hearty ojiji-style gaffaw. I wondered how many banana daiquiris he's had. What a fruitcake. I hate fruits. So I must hate myself. 5 minutes ago I was dying to see a smile on his adorable face. Now I never want to see his ugly mug again. What's wrong with me?! I must be fruit-loop for going on an emotional roller-coaster.

Netero sensed my rigid body language. "Oh Zeno-kun, lighten up. Are you mad at me because my friends saw your face? You can trust them, I swear by my life." He giggled again. "Trust me, Zeno. I'll show you something that will instantly make you forgive me, no matter how mad you might be with me. I've finally achieved my hatsu, Hyakushiki Kannon, which means 100 styles of Kannon in Hindi."

He started prancing around waving his arms in an infinity gesture that would suit a raver with a lightstick.

Eewww. An old man dancing? Not cool at all!

To make matters worse, Netero started rapping.

_Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, _

_Smooth and gentle, sweet like me!!_

Cough cough choke choke, can someone take this guy out of the room-please? He's scaring away the customers.

At that moment I suddenly realized I was floating. A glow lit up behind Netero. His aura had turned amethyst and it was bubbling like water, then it shot up like flames, and stabilized into dancing fern-like shapes. It was like so many fingers behind him - no, wait, they were like arms, ten thousand arms in seven colors. It's the manifestation of Kannon! I saw ten thousand paths leading into the same destination, merging into unity. Like ten thousand colors merging into white. All my hate was burned away, like he said it would be, not in the "I forgive you" sense, but in the, I hate you so much I can't possibly hate anymore and all my hate becomes heavy metal and I don't hate you no more. The sheer power and beauty of his nen made tears appear in my eyes. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't help whispering. "OMG Netero…your Hyakushiki Kannon is simply amazing. I love it! And I also love y-"

My thoughts were interrupted by retarded giggling and bouncing. "Haha, your turn! Show me your hatsu!!!"

_As you wish…._

I clasped my palms together, then slowly pulled them apart. They were now buzzing with positive charges that I had pulled from the earth using my body as a conductor. ( A/N: BS starts here, laugh all you want, I suck at phys XP)To untrained eyes, it seems as if nothing is happening but this is actually the most dangerous part, an invisible cloud of intense positive charges is building between my hands and will start to attract the negative charges from the aura of the target. When I shoot my dragon head at the target, it's like shooting an arrow of positive charges, it's invisible. Only when the opposite charges combine, does it generate heat, light and sound, forming the dragon-like arrow that you see. By then, it is already too late, for it has already sucked out the negative charges from the aura of the target and is eating away at it every millisecond it remains visible.

In short, my hatsu can only exist because of 50 percent positive charges contributed by me, and 50 percent negative charges contributed by my target, thus making it 100 percent impossible to avoid. (A/N: BS ends )

And I can also form any visible shape out of heat and light, as long as it is dragon-shaped. Sorry, I meant _arrow-shaped._

KA-BOOM!

The sound effects are pretty fancy too.

***

_Dragon Head: Why do you have so many arms?_

_Hyakushiki Kannon: The better to hug you with, my dear. _

_Hyakushiki Kannon: Why do you have such big teeth?_

_Dragon Head: The better to bite you with, my dear._

The Dragon Head and Hyakushiki Kannon move closer and closer, a cold wind blows in the background and romantic music swirls dramatically. Their faces get closer and closer until…

… _CHU!_

What the hell?

I broke into nervous sweat, just before the evil deed could happen. Stop it, stop it!!! I screamed mentally, grabbing my naughty offending fist with the other. This is wrong! Our hatsus are definitely NOT gay!

***

"Waaaa!! Sugoi!! Is that your hatsu? What do you call it?"

Luckily, Netero hadn't seen what I saw. The previous scene was merely a product of my twisted imagination. Snap out of your daydreams, ya sissy fruit salad with strawberry on top! I cursed myself and laughed bitterly. I thought: I would have called it "Netero I love you", but since you already have a girlfriend, I'm going to call it…

"Netero, you twisted old man! Talk to my fist! Actually, two fists. HA! _Draaaagon Head!!_" I thrust my palms forward again in an attacking pose like "Kamehameha" from Dragon Ball, without firing anything.

"Is that… so."

I sneaked a look at his blank face. I felt embarrassed, stood up straight and kicked at the freshly fallen snow with my boots. "Uh, yeah well, I didn't put that much effort into thinking about it."

When Netero didn't say anything, I blurted out, "I know, I know, I can do better right? How about…_Fist of the Dragon Head."_

"I thought you had… _two _fists?"

"Oh grammar, grammar…you sound like some old granny schoolteacher." I waved him off. "It's more important that I get the ESSENCE Of my power right, isn't it? But if you insist, then we shall call it FISTS of the Dragon Head!!"

"Hm…."Netero scratched his chin. "Have you heard of cognitive dissonance, Zeno? How can it be… a _fist,_ ahem, fist_ssss_" he made a gesture of acquiescence, "And also a _head_ at the same time?"

"It's poetry old man! Have some appreciation for art! It's only a sketch – a caricature if you insist."

"Naruhonto." He stuck up his index finger. "That works."

"Yaaa, what an awesome name!!" I agreed, then announced loudly. "My hatsu is called the Caricature of a Dragon Fist!"

"Zeno! You're so smart! You da man!"

We spontaneously slapped our palms together in a high five. An albino squirrel holding a nut stopped running, and turned to look, tufts of white winter fur standing up at the tips of her ears. The rodent tilted her head when our fingers tangled. Then her huge pink eyes popped outwards and the acorn dropped from her paws when our faces got closer and closer until …

_Gyaaaahh!! _

She screamed until her uvula vibrated and the Dragon Head and Kannon Hand got up, walked over and shoved her out of the scene.

***

A/N: Thanks for the reviews.^^ And thanks esp BigSEED and Killuasluver for the ideas. Next chp things might move into "M" territory. ;P NOT because of the twisted old guys but because Hisoka is sneaking around, he might do something bad...to Milluki perhaps? XD


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